One Month

Timmy would have been 1 month old yesterday. It feels like forever since he's been born in some ways as time just seems to crawl by right now. And in other ways it still feels like it was just yesterday because I can remember almost every second of how scared we were for those four days that he was with us. I'll never forget any of it. And then again sometimes it feels like it never even happened. I don't think my brain has fully realized that he was here and now he's gone. Call it denial. My brain doesn't know that what it mentally prepared for for 9 months was taken away in just four days. I guess we have a lifetime ahead of what would have been milestones for Timmy. I don't know how this gets any easier. People keep saying it will be it's hard for me to see that right now. I'm still too close to all of it. Here's a new quote that my friend wrote that I think is very true:

‎"It never really gets less painful. To say time heals all, I believe is a horrible misconception. You just rearrange the pain so that it becomes bearable. It becomes a part of the new you. And eventually you learn to accept and deal with the new you. That is really what I think time does."